You are not stuck in doom and gloom. Open your brain up to thinking differently. There is no need to keep the defensive walls pulled up.  It's possible you've misinterpreted the way people see you and the world around you.  

There is a way to change your thoughts and beliefs.

When your thoughts begin to change, and you act on them, your feelings change, too.
 
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/changing-thoughts-and-beliefs