We all deserve to be nice to ourselves.
New Year's Resolution: No more beating myself up.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/positive-thoughts

Many people don't understand how we use cognitive-behavioral therapy at the Social Anxiety Institute.  See our articles and explanations online.  CBT must always be done gently, one step at a time, and there is no "facing your fears" as part of it.  No stress, no pressure.   I have been reading the latest research concerning memory, and will try to get it across in the next few weeks.  My post yesterday was about repeating and reinforcing rational beliefs to yourself, using self-talk, in a systematic way.  From my experience working with anxiety people, it is the consistency that's lacking sometimes. After all, it is very difficult to stay consistent when you're by yourself and don't have the support of a group around you.  We will try to help everyone stay more consistent with therapy because the brain actually does change -- and when it does, you act differently automatically.  NO MORE ANXIETY!!!    :D
https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/why-cbt-works-social-anxiety-disorder

People fail to overcome social anxiety because they don't stick with it. Cognitive therapy is not hard, but it takes daily, consistent learning and reinforcement to become rational. Research indications are that you learn new habits in two months if you systematically work on doing them each day. Keep a journal and keep working on your anti-anxiety therapy.
https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/blog/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-social-anxiety-makes-physical-changes-brain

You don't need everyone else's approval for everything you do. You are entitled to your own values, beliefs, and ideas.
https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/you-are-not-inferior-others

Live in the present moment. The past is dead and gone, and the future is dependent on the present. Focus on and live in the present moment. Happy Holidays!!
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/positive-thoughts

Anxiety is adrenaline and cortisol in the body. We must slow the flow of adrenaline and cortisol down, and make a habit out of doing this. Good therapy for social anxiety teaches you all this.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/control-life-cognitive-therapy-social-anxiety-disorder

Which of your beliefs is irrational and which ones are not? You need to know the truth. We all need to get rational with ourselves, discover what the rational truth is, and then reinforce and repeat it to our brain so that the truth becomes an automatic habit. This will change your life.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/control-life-cognitive-therapy-social-anxiety-disorder

Stay in the present moment. The past is over and gone, and the future becomes the present moment at some later point. The future cannot be better unless you live in the present moment and make the most of it.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/positive-thoughts

One of science's greatest advances proved to us that the neural pathway system in our brain can be changed, and that it changes because of action on our part. Cognitive-behavioral therapy has been shown to change the brain physiologically. One day everyone can brain scan this for themselves. Your brain is wired entirely different after an appropriate comprehensive cognitive-behavioral therapy program.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/blog/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-social-anxiety-makes-physical-changes-brain

Karen wrote about her progress: Automatic negative thinking can be changed. Learning to think rationally stops unwanted irrational thoughts and beliefs. I am doing so much better now.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/karen

...Once I started opening up about my battle with SAD, many people were surprised. All along I was sure everyone thought I was weird with my red face and the other unexplainable signs of embarrassment I displayed socially. I guess those thoughts I was having were irrational after all!

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/be-kind-healhttps://socialanxietyinstitute.org/be-kind-heal

Peaceful people give themselves thirty minutes a day of private, quiet time where they can refresh themselves with rational, proactive thoughts and ideas. We can use this private time to overcome social anxiety.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/personal-note-people-social-anxiety

Beating ourselves up, blaming ourselves for things outside of our control, and dragging ourselves through depression and defeat are things we need to stop doing. You cannot begin to get better until you STOP beating yourself up. You don't deserve to do this yourself. Think rationally: why should your own thinking hurt you???

The December 2013 Social Anxiety Newsletter has been published. If you are not receiving it, you can sign up on the newsletter itself. Go here to see the new newsletter.

We all need to lighten up and laugh sometimes.  Social anxiety makes us too serious. Relax, loosen up, and laugh. Don't take life so seriously.

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/he-who-laughs-most

Social anxiety causes us to think negatively about ourselves. Is this judgment rational or should we open our mind to other, more accurate assessments that may be correct? You don't deserve to beat yourself up or put yourself down. Getting better involves becoming rational with yourself.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/changing-thoughts-and-beliefs

Learn to calm down, loosen up, and relax. It is easier to be rational when you're calm. As you become more rational about things, the neural pathway systems in your brain change.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/social-anxiety-chemical-imbalances-brain-neural-pathways

If we're called on or put on the spot, respond with calmness and take your time. Give yourself a second or two to think. Slow your brain down and use slow talk when you answer.

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/social-anxiety-adrenaline-cortisol-slow-and-steady

Anything rational you say to yourself every day becomes true. Stay away from telling your brain you "can't" do things and you "hate" doing this because it causes "too much" anxiety. Your brain hears and believes you, and you act on your beliefs. Watch what you say, because what you say rationally, becomes true.
https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/changing-thinking-habits

The very best (temporary) advice for dealing with anxiety is to calm yourself down, relax as much as possible, take a deep breath, take your time (don't pressure yourself and start rushing), and use slow talk if you're going to speak. This is the first strategy we use to start the process of overcoming social anxiety. There are dozens of other strategies we put into place, too.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/top-5-list-benefits-cognitive-therapy

You are not to blame for having social anxiety, it's a common mental health problem, and it is not your fault. You are the only one who can do something about it now, though. We have the proven research and clinical answers now -- people can and do overcome social anxiety in 2013.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/social-anxiety-treatment

Taking one small step at a time really works. Get into the HABIT of taking that step every day. Consistency is key to success. You overcome social anxiety by taking one small step against your anxiety. No flooding, no huge exposures, no "face your fears". Just one small step at a time.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/step-by-step-progress-against-social-anxiety-disorder

You are already accepted. Just sit back, relax, and accept yourself because it's the right thing to do. Accepting yourself for who you are means that you'll stop all the fighting and battling you've done in the past.

When you stop fighting and battling, then the real healing can begin. You start the path of overcoming social anxiety when you finally accept yourself.

You don't need to be perfect -- no one is. But every person has the right to accept themselves. It's important for us -- because we have been fighting against ourselves all our lives.

We need to sit back, relax, and just accept ourselves for who we are. When we accept, then we can change. Acceptance is a foundational step to overcoming social anxiety.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/when-do-you-have-right-beat-yourself

Doing the same things over and over and getting the same results is insane. WE NEED TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF OUR LIFE by doing things differently. You can learn new ways of acting that will gradually eliminate social anxiety disorder.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/control-life-cognitive-therapy-social-anxiety-disorder

Knowing and understanding what is rational is great, but we must ACT on what we rationally understand. Talk to others, approach that authority figure, give a small talk, make a classroom introduction. One step at a time One small step today leads to a better future.

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/one-small-step-today-leads-big-step-future

Your brain doesn't help you and it doesn't work against you, unless you "tell" it to. Tell the brain you are thinking more rationally, use self-talk with it, and your brain will help you as long as what you're doing is rational. The brain will help you, and be on your side, if it knows what you are doing.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/blog/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-social-anxiety-makes-physical-changes-brain

Don't inhibit yourself. Don't avoid. Open yourself up to other people and the world, step by step.
Avoidance is a recipe for disaster.
Opening yourself up allows you to focus on others and stay out of your head.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/top-5-list-benefits-cognitive-therapy

Focus externally away from your internal thoughts. Focus on other people, what they are saying, what's going on around you, or on the book you're reading. Do not go into your head. Focus outwardly. Focus externally.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/focus-externally

Relax, loosen up your muscles, calm yourself down, and clear out your mind so that you can think rationally.

Americans: Have a happy Thanksgiving!

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/top-5-list-benefits-cognitive-therapy

Acceptance of yourself allows you to stop comparing yourself to others and beat yourself up. Acceptance allows you to focus on what you need to do to get better.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/when-do-you-have-right-beat-yourself

The negative emotions we have buried inside, caused by social anxiety, should be let go, set free, released for your own good. Calmness and peacefulness help us overcome social anxiety.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/dave

Act on the world. Don't be passive. Take the initiative and do what you can reasonably do. Avoid avoidance. https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/avoidance-our-worst-enemy

The brain doesn't automatically help or hinder the development of social anxiety. It goes along with what's happening, unless you take charge and start telling it (self-talk) what is rational and true. Then, your own brain will make what you expect to happen, happen.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/changing-thoughts-and-beliefs

You can do cognitive therapy from home. No need to stay stuck in social anxiety for the rest of your life.  Thousands of other people have learned to overcome social anxiety.
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/control-life-cognitive-therapy-social-anxiety-disorder

We should consider a number of different positive perspectives. Some may help us in overcoming social anxiety.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/positive-thoughtshttps://socialanxietyinstitute.org/positive-thoughts

Social anxiety is a monster with no teeth.  It looks scary, but has no real power to use against us.

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/learning-rid-ourselves-anxiety-monster
https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/learning-rid-ourselves-anxiety-monster'

When your thoughts go negative, there are a lot of active things to do. Overthinking is a curse. Don't let it crush you.
https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/avoidance-our-worst-enemy

Surprise! After all the frustration and depression that doctors and therapists who don't understand social anxiety cause, you can get over social anxiety disorder without them. (If you are working with someone who really knows how to help you, stay with that person and that group.)
We are told repeatedly that the cognitive audio series helps significantly more than appointments with therapists who don't understand social anxiety and how to treat it. We have an excellent 15 year track record now of people who've gone through it and have come out much better on the other side. Let me again mention that we are working daily on making this all better -- particularly for the person who does not have access to an active, structured therapy group. It's coming! :D

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/surprise-it-works-social-anxiety

You are not stuck in doom and gloom. Open your brain up to thinking differently. There is no need to keep the defensive walls pulled up.  It's possible you've misinterpreted the way people see you and the world around you.  

There is a way to change your thoughts and beliefs.

When your thoughts begin to change, and you act on them, your feelings change, too.
 
https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/changing-thoughts-and-beliefs

You can't fight fire with fire. Anxiety (a negative emotion) is inflamed by other negative emotions, like anger, aggression, frustration, and depression. Anxiety brings on more anxiety. It is the fighting and battling against it that keeps the fires burning.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/fighting-fire-with-firehttps://socialanxietyinstitute.org/fighting-fire-with-fire

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/social-anxiety-better-known

Anxiety hates calmness, peace, and relaxation. The positive emotions are antidotes to anxiety, and help you feel better at the same time. Allowing yourself to relax and feel calmness is one powerful step on the road to overcoming social anxiety.  Slow down, take it easy, take one deep breath and relax.   Don't take life so seriously.  Life is not a series of emergencies, it is meant to be enjoyed.  

Social Anxiety Institute

Social Anxiety Institute

 Rehashing and ruminating about the past does no good. You can't change the past, but you can change the present -- which will have a positive powerful effect on the future.

Stop feeling sorry about yesterday when you can do something about it today.  Overcoming social anxiety is an easy thing to do, it just takes time.  The Social Anxiety Institute provides this help.

I saw another person last week who had been diagnosed with depression, but really had a full-blown case of social anxiety disorder. He had spent the last five years trying to find out what was wrong with him. Unfortunately, misdigagnosis of social anxiety is still prevalent.

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/social-anxiety-commonly-misdiagnosed

 

Social Anxiety Newsletter for November coming out tomorrow.  Featured will be the ways social anxiety makes you feel, the international therapy group program, and new insurances policies and rules that insure treatment of social anxiety disorder is on par with treatment of medical conditions.   Sign up for the Social Anxiety Newsletter here. 

Social Anxiety, Chemical Imbalances, and Neural Pathways in the Brain | Social Anxiety Institute

Social Anxiety, Chemical Imbalances, and Neural Pathways in the Brain | Social Anxiety Institute

Chemical Imbalances in the brain are caused by/or are the effect of neural pathway systems (neuronal associations in the brain).  When the neural pathways change, so does the chemical imbalance.  Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the only way we can our neural pathway systems.  When we learn to think, act, and believe more rationally, our brain is changing.

DO I always need other people's approval?   Does everyone have to like me?  Is it rational to believe that everyone must like me?

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/Using%20Behavioral%20Techniques%20to%20Find%20the%20Truth

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/living-with-social-anxiety
Overthinking and overanalyzing are social anxiety's biggest curses. Stop the excessive thinking and DO something instead.  Analysis equals paralysis.    You will be stuck in your anxiety forever if you don't stop the excessive thinking and worry.   DO anything else constructive at all to stop your mind from spinning out of control.

 

Slow yourself down and don't treat everything as an emergency. Maybe by slowing down you can approach the situation with more calmness.

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org 

 

Many places that claim to do cognitive-behavioral therapy do not provide enough strategies and behavioral support to be effective. That's why we call our treatment "comprehensive cognitive-behavioral therapy" and have spelled it out in detail in this article:

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/comprehensive-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-social-anxiety-disorderhttps://socialanxietyinstitute.org/comprehensive-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-social-anxiety-disorder

 

It would be nice if we could take a pill or get an injection and have all the cognitive strategies added to our brain at once. But that is not how the human brain works. The brain must learn new information -- and this takes time, because to really learn something well, a lot of repetition is involved. The more you do something, or the more you study something, the better you will become, and the more you will know about that thing.

There is no short-cut to learning (how to overcome social anxiety).

If we are discussing what will WORK in helping us overcome social anxiety, then there is no process other than learning what is rational and then acting on it (thus, CBT).

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/why-cbt-works-social-anxiety-disorder

https://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/why-cbt-works-social-anxiety-disorder

Take It Slow and Steady | Social Anxiety Institute

Take It Slow and Steady | Social Anxiety Institute

 We all want to overcome social anxiety disorder, but there is definitely a right way and a wrong way to do it.  The best and most effective way is to choose the EASIEST person (or situation) to begin with, and keep doing this until your anxiety about that event is gone.
When you're in a new situation, follow the same procedure.  You will find that you never, ever NEED to take more than "one step" in your movement against social anxiety.  Soon, the level eight or nine anxiety situation will become a level one anxiety situation, so long as you continue on with the therapy.